


Pain

by 1f_this_be_madness



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Gibbs needs a lot of love, I really want Gibbs' and Jake's friendship to develop in a positive manner okay, Other, and friendship is important in this show especially now, spoilers thru NCIS Season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:16:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1f_this_be_madness/pseuds/1f_this_be_madness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the latest in a long lineup of sleepless nights, while his team works incognito on an undercover case, NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs takes a lunch break with a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pain

Gibbs can’t sleep. His knee is aching, and that pain radiates throughout his entire leg. Packing ice on it only helps so much before the stiffness and lack of movement takes its toll. So he tramps up and down all of the stairs in his house, from the basement to the attic’s rafters. But the pain does not cease; it only lessens—at least, until the weather changes—before flaring up again.

He cannot tell the team—or Vance—about it, because they will try to get him to slow up. Gibbs knows that will not help, just as him talking to Leon after Jackie’s death wouldn’t have meant anything if Leon didn’t require help or aid.

Now as the NCIS Special Agent paces around the office, the outer muscles around his left kneecap feel as though they are being slammed with a hammer or jolted by volts of electricity. He measures his steps and breathes deeply before striding over to the main stairs and elevator . . . coming face-to-face with Jake Malloy—NSA lawyer, Bishop’s husband, and Gibbs’ friend.

“Gibbs!” Jake is surprised but pleased to see him. “Ellie told me you got our fruit basket—which was her idea, you understand; I suggested a nice cut of steak, but fruit vitamins are healthier for rebuilding one’s nerves and cartilage and bones, apparently.” The NCIS agent watches him calmly, and Jake blinks before he adds, “That’s, uh, not why I came over today—not the only reason, anyway—I was coming to eat lunch with Ellie if she’s available?” He phrases the last few words as a question and quickly continues, “Yes, I know I should’ve called her first, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I can—” Gibbs holds up an open hand to halt his friend’s ramblings.

“You wanted to be romantic. I get it, Jake. I remember doing things like that for my first wife.” Jake grins.

“Not with any of the others after?” Gibbs chuckles.

“Nope. Shannon got all the best out of me.” He goes quiet for a minute, which turns Jake serious.

“I’m sorry, Gibbs.” Gibbs rolls his eyes.

“It’s all right, kid. Don’t worry about it. Right now, McGee and Bishop are on an assignment out of the office, but I’ll let her know you were here.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks Gibbs. Hey—I still need to eat, and since Ellie can’t—would you want to come have lunch with me instead?” He winces after asking that way, but Gibbs brightens, smiles with his eyes, and settles his shoulders in amusement.

“That sounds good. I know a place where they grill a decent steak.”

***

As the two men settle in at the restaurant, Jake takes closer notice of Gibbs—the stiffness of his body, the new lines in his face, the pain behind those searing blue eyes . . . . Not sure how to ask—and keenly aware that someone like Gibbs won’t talk unless HE wants to—the lawyer speaks instead of day-to-day doings at NSA; the mountains of paperwork, hoops he endlessly has to jump through, and teasing endured from Ellie’s friend Martinez. She who also knows a few of the other members of Gibbs’ team: “She doesn’t shut up about Tony. It’s kind of funny, actually, how alike those two are. I won’t be surprised if they become drinking buddies sometime soon. Do you have any new drinking pals, Gibbs?”

“None apart from the doctor who saved my life. And that drink happened just the once; I promised and gave him a bottle of Scotch.”

“So it’s not going to be a regular meeting between you guys?”

“Nope.”

“Ah.” They are quiet for a little while as their waitress serves two marinated ribeyes: one rare, one medium rare; steamed broccoli; and roasted potatoes. After the food is (partly) eaten, Jake continues: “That’s too bad, because it’s pretty miraculous what that doctor did. He pulled so much shrapnel out from around your heart, I heard. Ellie and I—as well as the rest of your team—are incredibly grateful for it.”

“I’m not.” The older man says it quiet, solid. The same way he says everything that is the truth. He doesn’t yell, shout, or scream it—but the effect is as if he had; Jake flinches and his eyes grow wide and concerned.

“You’re not? Oh, Gibbs, why?” Gibbs puts his fork down.

“You really want to know why?” The agent leans in. “I hurt, Jake. I’m in constant pain.”

“Your medicine isn’t helping? I’m sure if you told Director Vance, he would give you time off.”

“I can’t take time off. I won’t take time just to think. If I do that, I’ll lose my purpose completely. It’s already changed, Jake . . . my living in the past, remembering Shannon and Kelly,” he takes up his knife and fork again, but his hands start shaking and shuddering so badly that he slams the utensils down. He can’t take this anymore. “I saw her, my daughter, when I was in surgery. Kelly spoke to me—said I had to stop living in the past in order to think about the future. There will ALWAYS be more bad guys to stop! And why—? I can’t—”

“You want to know how your thinking about the two of them stops you from being ready for the future.” Jake replies slowly. Gibbs shrugs at him with a helpless I-don’t-know gesture, and the younger man is at a loss as to how best to respond. He so badly wants to help, to say just the thing that will give his friend hope and a positive purpose again. But he isn’t Ducky. He wants to say the right thing that lets Gibbs know Jake will always be here for him. But he isn’t Tony. What Jake Malloy can do for Leroy Jethro Gibbs—the only thing that he can do for his friend—is what he is currently doing. He can listen.


End file.
